Monday, May 21, 2007

After Dark

Friday night, I got wasted, abandoned my friends around 1am, and then ended up at a gay bar.

This happens a lot. This is not a healthy thing.

I have a few haunts... the usual suspects: Metropolitan in Williamsburg, Eastern Bloc in the East Village, and occasionally, Mr. Black in Noho, even though it's totally not my scene. I show up, I have a drink, I take in the scenery, gather my confidence, and eventually talk with a guy.

The next morning, I'm regretting what I did or didn't do the night before.

These nights are the reason why I should hang out with a group of gay friends. Socializing in a gay bar is a much healthier than drinking into oblivion and cruising for men.

But explaining bisexuality to a group of people in a social situation is a lot more difficult than explaining it in a gay bar. If you're known to a group of gay friends as bi, you will forever be introduced to other guys as "the bi guy." If I do meet a guy through that circle of friends, gay friends will trounce my chances. "Why does he get to talk to him," I overheard a gay friend say once at a gay bar. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "He can hit on women all he wants! He should save the guys for us!"

If I go to a gay bar with friends, I'm the bi guy.

If I go to a gay bar alone, I'm just another gay guy - no questions asked.

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