Friday, May 18, 2007

Un-Fucked

Despite all the sexual encounters I've had, I've never fucked a guy.

"How can you be sure you like guys, then," my gay friends would ask. That's a stupid question. Just people I don't like getting a dick shoved up my pooper doesn't mean I can't be attracted to men. That's like saying that if a girl doesn't like to be titty-fucked, she must be a lesbian.

Quite simply, anal sex discomforts me. It isn't the risk of STDs. It isn't that it's rather unsanitary. It's just that I'm uncomfortable. If a guy puts his finger up my ass when I'm hooking up with him, I tell him to stop. A guy could repeat a thousand times during a hookup, "I want to fuck you," and I will not give in. After all, if I was anything at all, I'd be a top.

But being a top makes me uncomfortable, too. I assume, usually being the more masculine guy in a hookup, that I'd be the dominant one. I've tried this role. It feels fine, but whether it's jitters from being grossed out, or the excitement of finally fucking a guy, I get so worked up over it that I never even make it to insertion.

I never have this problem with women. I'm always turned on by it, and I can hold my own when it comes to holding back.

Never having popped my man-sex cherry, this is the biggest dilemma: it's hard to find a guy who's not looking to fuck or be fucked. On top of that, having a gay relationship is out of the question when my partner would never feel fulfilled. Not even fulfilled, just filled.

I guess I'm just an exit-only type of guy.

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